WP Engine Sucks

WP Engine sucks so bad

Why does WP Engine suck so bad?

Here are the 10 most recent reasons why:

@chadjolly 28 Sep 2016 @asmartbear @wpengine 14 day window for this DNS migration is *crazy*. We've got 40+ customer sites to deal with. 3-6 months is too short
@mkjones 10 Aug 2016 @WPESupport need some movement on ticket 613803 - over 8hrs in and no solution to what seems a pretty straight forward SSL issue
@robertdall 01 Aug 2016 Currently waiting for @wpengine to actually pick up the phone on their tech support for a conference call. :-(
@RudolfVanek 28 Jul 2016 @WPESupport been waiting for 20 minutes for an agent to chat with. Why is there no way to sne email or offline message?
@Smith_CourtneyM 27 Jul 2016 @WPESupport was a very non-responsive live chat until a few min ago.
@tech2touch 03 Jun 2016 @wpengine My hosting service is down from past 30 minutes. Even I am not able to reach your support as they are busy.
@joshmobley 19 May 2016 @wpengine I recognize that it's 3:30am EDT, but when I can't access my wp-admin after a failed migration, I just wanna file a ticket.
@mwtsn 12 May 2016 Nice idea in theory @WPESupport but waiting around on live chat while you have 100 other things to do is not a great experience.
@_jimmy_mac 11 May 2016 @wpengine user portal down?
@Hextermination 05 May 2016 @FistsofHeaven @wpengine I've never had problems with aspirationhosting. Their technical support staff was always top notch too.

Since WP Engine suck, who should I move to?

Cheapest & sucks less than WP Engine

CowArmy.Models.Json.Provider sucks so much less for price

Check Namecheap's Offer

Fast & reliable compared to WP Engine

CowArmy.Models.Json.Provider is faster by far

Check DreamHost's Offer

Support way less sucky than WP Engine

CowArmy.Models.Json.Provider is not sucky at all

Check InMotion's Offer

As a reminder of what you're not missing out on, WP Engine's plans:

Shared Personal $29/mo 10 GB storage
Shared Professional $99/mo 20 GB storage
Shared Business $249/mo 30 GB storage